How to negotiate

Know your opponent, be sure of your goals and keep calm in order to crack the skill of negotiation, says Scott Beagrie

If you want to become an effective manager and to go far within your organisation, there are few skills more valuable than knowing how to negotiate. Being well-versed in the art of talking people round to your way of thinking could lead to a better job offer, resolution of a dispute, a healthy discount from a supplier or a bigger pay rise.

As well as being a crucial part of our working lives, negotiation is important at home too, whether that means arguing over the TV remote control or going to your favorite restaurant.

Most of us are practicing it habitually even if we don’t realize it. At work, the stakes are higher but the principle is the same: both sides want something and have to find a way of agreeing in order to make headway.

Undoubtedly, particular personality traits make some people better negotiators than others but with preparation and a few guiding principles and techniques, everyone can improve their ability to negotiate.

The way I see it

Remember that every person you negotiate with will be different. You need to tailor your approach so that ideally you can achieve a win-win solution

Peter Harwood, chief conciliator, ACAS

Q.  If you feel self-conscious about making demands, what’s a good way round this?

If you try to be constructive, friendly and approach negotiations as a joint problem to solve, people are more likely to behave in a similar way. Ideally, negotiations should be a collaborative exercise rather than a confrontational one.

Q. What methods do you deploy during a negotiation?

There are a few simple ones. When presented with someone’s position, don’t say ‘no’ first and explain the reasons why later on. It’s much better to explain your reasoning then say that you can’t agree. If you present your arguments first, the other side is more likely to pay attention if they aren't sure what the outcome will be, instead of immediately constructing their own argument in response.

Q. What mistakes do people make when negotiating?

Throwing in as many justifications for their argument as possible. Parties produce a long list to justify their position. This makes it easier for the other side to pick up on weaker points and ignore stronger ones. Good negotiators keep to three or four key points which are fully justified so hard to refute.

Q. What should you never do?

Behaving aggressively rarely works. People either resent it as bullying or think that you have a weak case and are over-selling it. Don’t get personal or make judgments about people’s personal motives. Stick to the issues and the gaps between you.

Q. What are your top tips?

Plan ahead and have a strategy which includes your ‘best alternative to no agreement’. Consider the other side’s perspective and strive for win-win, be respectful and treat people as you wish to be treated. You may have to sit at the table with these people again.

Plan carefully

Without adequate preparation, you've tilted the perceived balance of power before you've even begun. Collect facts, figures and any information that is central to your case early on, but it isn't just the content that you need to make ready. Think creatively about your strategy and stance, and match it to the situation as every negotiation is likely to differ.

What do you want to achieve from the negotiation? What are you prepared to trade and what won’t you relinquish? It is imperative that you fully understand and appreciate the context of the negotiation and the objectives of the other party. Find out why they hold the position they do and what they are likely to say so you can prepare responses to their arguments in advance.

Talk to the individual or others on the team in an informal, off the record meeting, if necessary. Decide on your break point. Also try to visualise the scenario, and mentally run through the game plan as part of your preparation. Finally, above all, remember that every person you negotiate with will be different, says Peter Harwood, chief conciliator at Acas. “You need to tailor your approach so that ideally you can achieve a win-win solution,” he says.

Hone your skills

Successful negotiation primarily relies on the ability to build relationships. You must have top notch communication skills and an ability to listen interactively to find out what the other party really wants. You must have the capacity to show you understand, be highly perceptive, be able to empathize and know how to interpret body language.

As well as being attuned to the content of what is being said, you need to be able to analyse non-verbal responses, as what they’re not saying can be equally as important as what they are. Remember every interchange is an opportunity to listen for clues and to gather information which could bring an advantageous shift in your negotiating power. You also need to be confident and assertive without coming across as too heavy-handed, and be reasonable and non-judgmental at all times.

At the negotiation table

Although both parties will have a chance to put forward their objectives, try to articulate your opening position first. Then, in theory, the subsequent dialogue will revolve around your tabled proposals and ideal outcomes.

Allow yourself plenty of room to manoeuvre. If the other party leads, it is safe to assume that they’ll start from a maximum position. Be clear and explain your stance from the outset. Make sure you don’t give any inkling at the start about any areas in which you may be prepared to be flexible. Unrealistic and unreasonable demands should be dealt with and dismissed early on. Although not entirely in your control, try to ensure the tone and atmosphere of the meeting is one that makes both sides feel the experience is going to be mutually beneficial.

Learn to deal with aggression

If the other side is being unreasonable or aggressive, don’t respond in kind or the session will become confrontational. Avoid point scoring or interruption as these are giveaway signs of vulnerability. Harwood suggests a good way to achieve the upper hand is thinking through what the other people want to achieve and trying as hard as possible to shape the outcome to arrive at a win-win situation.

“Make them an offer they can’t refuse. Always look for trades as there may be something of low value to you, which has high value for them, and vice versa,” he says.

Exploit every opportunity 

Strong negotiation skills are acquired over years, so don’t expect to get everything right immediately. Enlist the help of a coach or mentor to question, advise and guide you in this area. Find out if it is possible to sit in on other negotiations within your organisation. Additionally, take any opportunity to brush up on your debating skills, as debate accounts for approximately 80% of time spent in a negotiation.

Detail your negotiation experiences in a logbook as this will provide an opportunity to analyse and learn from your successes and failures. Also read up on admired negotiators in history as well as present day examples: negotiation is receiving a high profile in the news at the moment with the Lib Dem/Conservative coalition government having to broker deals and the attempts to resolve the long-running British Airways’ industrial dispute.