How to influence

The ability to influence others around you is one of the most valuable personal skills at your disposal. So how do you effectively increase your influence in the office?

Influence, when used ethically and effectively, can make all the difference when getting your next proposal effortlessly past your boss, uniting the team behind a project or even securing a pay rise. It helps to make things happen and, as a consequence, managers need to be able to influence at all levels: upwards, downwards and sideways.

Most of us are influencing people every day of our lives at some level without even knowing it, but to be able to exert a positive influence you must pay close attention to and become more attuned to your own behaviours. Being aware of your own actions means that you can bring people with you, rather than browbeating or railroading them into achieving your desired outcome(s). Influencing is at its best when people are convinced that yours is the best course of action to take based on the mutual respect, commitment, loyalty and trust you've built up between you. It is a particularly valuable skill when involved in a change management or transformation process. Contrary to popular belief, it is not an inherent trait gifted to the few, but a skill that can be learned and honed.

Know who you want to influence

 Be clear in your own mind about your mission and then identify those you need to bring on side. What are the benefits to them of agreeing with your idea and how high are the stakes for them? It is imperative that you know not just who you are dealing with, but also something of their motivations and priorities, so you can build a good two-way relationship with them. Unless you thoroughly understand how they feel it will be impossible to fully connect with them, nor will they want to align with you. Ask open-ended questions, allow them to talk and use their responses to build rapport and act as the basis for a targeted campaign.

If you try and influence someone with lots of theory, big picture descriptions and logic, but they prefer to understand how the project will impact on the practical concerns of the people involved and the impact on morale, it can be like trying to communicate using .two different languages

Ameet Thakkar, principal consultant, OPP

Be more aware

A heightened sense of self-awareness and an awareness of the individual differences of others are at the heart of strengthening your influencing skills. Ameet Thakkar, principal consultant at international business psychology consultancy OPP, says knowing what you do well and what you do less well is essential. “How do you make decisions and communicate – what’s good and what’s unhelpful about your current approach?” he says, stressing that this is as significant as learning how to influence itself. “If all we learn is influencing techniques and tools then we will be undermined by our long-standing biases and blind spots which results in less than optimal outcomes.

“Self-awareness relates to understanding how you like to be influenced yourself – we usually give others what we like – whether it is right for them or not.”

Consider your method and tone

Instilling trust and winning commitment for your initiative demands that you have a firm grasp of group dynamics and that you choose a communication method that is both appropriate and tailored to the audience. Thakker also points out the value of being alert to ‘clues’ about the preferred communication style of others which can allow you to tune in to different communication frequencies, of which OPP has identified four global types.

“If you try and influence someone with lots of theory, big picture descriptions and logic, but they prefer to understand how the project will impact on the practical concerns of the people involved and the impact on morale, it can be like trying to communicate using two different languages,” he says. Remember that the more convincing you are when you present your case, the more likely you are to win people over, so contemplate whether your public speaking skills are in need of buffing up.

Change your behaviours

To have prolonged impact and influence calls for you to not only be aware of how you present yourself and the messages you convey but to be able to adapt and modify your personal style in response to how the individual or group reacts. Having the sensitivity to read others in this way will not only allow you to apply your strengths and natural preferences where most appropriate, but also bring contrasting approaches into play when faced with stronger personality traits such as high degrees of indifference or hostile scepticism. “A change in your behaviour is the only thing you have control over to create a change in the interaction,” says Thakkar, who points out that when attempting to overcome barriers to their influencing many people often default to “more of the same behaviour” which only ever leads to more of the same outcome.

“Developing a broader behavioural repertoire creates the ability to actively select different approaches when our typical approach hits a brick wall,” he says.

Review your approaches

Make time to record your influencing experiences as this will help you to reflect on and evaluate your effectiveness and plan for the future. “What did you do well? What did not go to plan, what were the reactions (verbal and non-verbal) of the people who you were trying to influence?” says Thakkar. “Get feedback from those present if possible to provide more data for you to work with.”

A well chosen mentor could also help to bolster your skills by lending additional insight into the impact of different management styles and approaches, particularly in the context of more testing situations.